1,530 words | 7 minute read
by Roy Steele
In a Jive in the  exclusive, we were sent a copy of the Grump (Trump) Family’s Christmas Letter. Wow. It’s significant because Ronald and Ronni Grump are identical twins, and the first cousins of President-Elect Donald Trump. In the letter Ronni Grump dumps on cousin Donald Trump and tells family stories out of school.
We were able to reach Ronni Grump by telephone from her prefabricated two family house in Suffern, New York. This is a transcript of our brief conversation.
ROY: Hello Miss Grump. Happy Holidays!Miss Ronni Grump hung up on me. After multiple attempts to reach her again I gave up. The Christmas letter is self explanatory and is worth exploring for both the gossip and family photographs.
RONNI GRUMP: Who is this? Are you from the Enquirer? I told you I like the Star.
ROY: No Miss Grump. I’m not from the Enquirer. I write for a blog online.
RONNI GRUMP: It’s too cold to hang laundry on the clothes line. Do you like pussy [unintelligible mumbling].
ROY: Like pussy what?
RONNI GRUMP: Pussy
ROY: I’m afraid I’m very allergic. Umm.
RONNI GRUMP: Kitties
ROY: I'm allergic to pussy kitties Miss Grump. I think they’re lovely from afar.
RONNI GRUMP: You jog.
ROY: No I write for a blog. I want to talk with you about your cousin Donald Trump.
RONNI GRUMP: Pussy Boots can’t talk right now.