November 16, 2011

Republican Candidates Are Perverts Obsessed With Sex

Newt Gingrich; “Because I am much like Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, I’m such an unconventional political figure."

“Because I am much like Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, I’m such an unconventional political figure that you really need to design a unique campaign that fits the way I operate.” 

So said former Congressman Newt Gingrich, the portly wannabe president.

Really? I knew Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, and Newt Gingrich is neither Ronald Reagan or Margaret Thatcher. To my knowledge, those two weren’t corrupt and Newt Gingrich is corrupt.

Aside from possessing ego’s bigger than Alaska, most Republican candidates for president and Congress are perverts. They’re obsessed with sex and what Americans do in their bedrooms. Isn’t that kind of sick?

What else do we know about the various declared GOP candidates for President? Why aren’t they catching on with the public? Is this the best they can do?

We take a look at what the current crop of Republican candidates for president stand for.

Willard Mitt Romney

Willard Mitt Romney (his real name) is a famous flip-flopper and vulture capitalist.

Michele Bachmann

Michele “Bozo” Bachmann believes:

Rick Santorum

Rick “Sicko” Santorum is the biggest pervert of all the GOP candidates.

Herman Cain

Herman “999’ Cain is a former pizza parlor executive with a penchant for blonde bimbo’s.

Rick Perry

Governor ‘oops’ Perry was a cheerleader in his younger days. Need I say more?

Ron (five) Paul

Rep. Ron ‘5 5 5’ Paul is a libertarian Republican Congressman and perpetual candidate for president from Texas.

Newt Gingrich

Former Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-GA) had to step down when he was charged with 84 ethics violations as Speaker of the House.

Jon Huntsman

Governor Jon Huntsman of Utah is the only Republican candidate for president that I could see myself voting for.

At this juncture – not one of these candidates stands a chance at being elected President, unless I’m missing something.

This is a very sad lineup indeed.

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