November 16, 2011

Perverted Crop of Republican Candidates Obsessed With Sex

Newt Gingrich; “Because I am much like Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, I’m such an unconventional political figure."

“Because I am much like Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, I’m such an unconventional political figure that you really need to design a unique campaign that fits the way I operate.” 

So said anti-gay former Congressman Newt Gingrich, the portly wannabe president.

Really? I knew Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, and Newt Gingrich is neither Ronald Reagan or Margaret Thatcher. To my knowledge, those two weren’t corrupt and Newt Gingrich is corrupt.

Aside from possessing ego’s bigger than Alaska, most Republican candidates for president and Congress are perverts. They’re obsessed with sex and what Americans do in their bedrooms. Isn’t that kind of sick?

What else do we know about the various declared GOP candidates for President? Why aren’t they catching on with the public? Is this the best they can do?

We take a look at what the current crop of Republican candidates for president believe in, and document their obsession with sex.



Willard Mitt Romney


Willard Mitt Romney (his real name) is a famous flip-flopper and vulture capitalist.



Michele Bachmann


Michele “Bozo” Bachmann believes:
  • If you don’t work, you shouldn’t eat
  • Is a champion of state rights, except when it comes to gay rights and gay marriage. She wants the federal government to regulate marriage, because she knows better than any state judge or state government.
  • It’s OK to be homophobic, because the Bible says “homosexuality” is an abomination.
  • The Bible says that women are the property of men, and that slavery is acceptable. She ignores those parts of the Bible, but is obsessed with sex and sexuality. She wants to regulate all women’s reproductive organs
  • She talks about too much government regulation, and wants to return to 2008 when there was less regulation and Wall Street nearly destroyed the American economy
  • Bachmann is obsessed with gay sex and straight sex. Maybe because her husband Mary doesn't satisfy her. Is Bachmann a pervert? Absolutely.



Rick Santorum


Rick “Sicko” Santorum is the biggest pervert of all the GOP candidates.



Herman Cain


Herman “999’ Cain is a former pizza parlor executive with a penchant for blonde bimbo’s.



Rick Perry


Governor ‘oops’ Perry was a cheerleader in his younger days. Need I say more?



Ron (five) Paul


Rep. Ron ‘5 5 5’ Paul is a libertarian Republican Congressman and perpetual candidate for president from Texas.



Newt Gingrich


Former Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-GA) had to step down when he was charged with 84 ethics violations as Speaker of the House.



Jon Huntsman


Governor Jon Huntsman of Utah is the only Republican candidate for president that I could see myself voting for.



At this juncture – not one of these candidates stands a chance at being elected President, unless I’m missing something.

This is a very sad lineup indeed.


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